Living with autism often tests the family more than the child.
Autism is still spoken about in the wrong way in Turkey. It is treated like a disease. It is described as a deficiency. It is seen as a condition that “needs to be fixed”. However, this is not the truth. Autism is neither a germ nor an acquired disorder. Autism is a different way the brain relates to the world. But in daily life, it is not the child who is most challenged by this difference, but the family living with him/her.
Not all children with autism are the same. Some have difficulty speaking, some do not make eye contact, some show repetitive behaviors. But the same child can sometimes notice a detail before anyone else, sometimes remember a melody in one listen, sometimes focus on the same task for hours. So it's not just that they “can't do it”; it's that they perceive the world from a different perspective.
There is still a lot of misinformation about the cause of autism. However, science is very clear on this issue: Autism is largely genetic and congenital. There is no single cause, no single gene. It is especially important to say this: Autism cannot be vaccinated. It does not happen with the attitude and interest of the parents. Such allegations do not make the work of families easier; on the contrary, on the contrary, they put a sense of guilt on them.
And is there a cure?
There is no medicine that completely eliminates autism. Because there is no disease to eradicate. But this does not mean that there is nothing to be done. With early diagnosis and the right education, many children can communicate and become more independent in daily life. The point here is not to “normalize” the child, but to create space for them to use their potential.
But the hard part usually starts here. Because this process is not as easy as it is described on paper. And the burden often falls on the family, not the child.
For the family of a child diagnosed with autism, life changes in an instant. Daily plans are turned upside down, work life is affected, and social relationships shrink. The questions “Will I find the right education?”, “Am I doing it wrong?”, “What will happen when this child grows up?” haunt parents. The financial burden increases, fatigue accumulates. And most importantly, many families feel lonely.
In Turkey, this loneliness is even more pronounced. Early diagnosis is difficult to access, quality education is expensive, state support is limited. It is said that there is mainstreaming education, but in practice, most of the time the child remains in the classroom, no real support is offered. The teacher is alone, the family is alone, the child is alone. However, mainstreaming does not mean that the child fits into the system; it means that the system adapts to the child.
This is why the situation of families living abroad is different. Not because their children are luckier, but because they are in a more holistic system. Early diagnosis is faster, access to education and therapy is easier. Individual support is actually practiced in schools. And most importantly, the question “What will happen when this child grows up?” is not left completely unanswered. There are life, work and social support plans for adulthood. This eases the burden on families.
In Turkey, families often have to carry everything alone. The difficult part of living with autism is often not the autism itself, but the lack of support.
This article was written in order not to see autism as just a child issue. To remind us of the fatigue, anxiety and invisible labor that families go through... Because autism is not a deficiency. The deficiency starts in a system that fails to create enough space for this difference and for these families.
A society is stronger the more it cares for its most vulnerable individuals and their families.