If a child is restless, something is immediately said. They are called inattentive, impatient, naughty. But sometimes it is not the child himself. The problem is in a world that does not know how he thinks.
For years I couldn't understand why I couldn't slow down. Everyone would sit, listen, be patient. I would get bored. I would get bored very quickly. It was easy to start something, but it was hard to continue. My mind would constantly drift somewhere else.
I was being pulled by many thoughts and impulses at the same time.
I didn't know it had a name at the time, and no one told me. They called me careless. Hasty, they said. They said I couldn't sit still. But it wasn't that I couldn't do it. It was that I couldn't keep the same pace.
My mom used to say, “Why can't you be one of those girls who buys a place like so and so?”
I couldn't be.
I could not be happy in jobs that required repetition, that proceeded in the same rhythm.
Routine housework... was not for me.
I wasn't lazy.
I was not able to sustain my attention in the same way.
It wasn't that I wasn't studying, it was that I couldn't sustain my attention.
If there was something that interested me, I would stay with it for hours.
I didn't want to leave it unfinished.
But I couldn't do the same thing in a job that didn't interest me.
Then I realized
The problem wasn't attention deficit
My attention works according to attention
I was focusing if I was interested
Otherwise I couldn't go on
And it wasn't just about thinking
It was more about feeling.
There would be a restlessness inside me. Like I shouldn't have stayed there.
I couldn't consciously stop myself
Even if I wanted to, I couldn't.
It was not a choice; it was a feeling
I realized something later
I always thought I was versatile
Actually, it's not about being versatile
My mind doesn't want to stay on one path
I found a way out without realizing it. I started playing basketball. It was good for me for years. Running, sweating, staying in the game... It cleared my mind. I realized for the first time that the problem wasn't that I couldn't slow down. It was that I didn't know where to put my speed.
It's not about suppressing energy, but putting it in the right place.
Then I found my field. Plastic surgery. Everything fell into place there. Because this field doesn't ask me for technical repetition. It wants me to think, plan and produce. It wants me to make decisions and find solutions at the same time. So it sees my speed not as a problem, but as something that works.
With more than 100 columns I have written in 3 months, I have entered the club of hundreds in Halkweb. I am grateful to the souls who enable me to express myself in this field.
Let me be clear, my brain works fast. I don't hide it anymore. I am grateful for this productivity.
But on the other hand, there's something inside me.
Resentment.
For years I went through a system that didn't understand me, that put me in the same place as everyone else, that didn't see the difference. An education system that tried to slow me down, that tried to fit me into “normal”.
Because it's not just about getting somewhere
It was a matter of recognizing it for what it was in time.
Today I am a faculty member at a medical school. But when I look back, I see this very clearly. I wasn't lazy, I wasn't undisciplined, I was just different.
This is where the so-called attention deficit hyperactivity disorder comes in. It is either completely medicalized as a disease or ignored because it is “exaggerated”. But the issue is a bit more subtle. It is the different functioning of some systems of the brain.
So it's not a question of wanting
To be able to adjust
It's not always an advantage. Sometimes it's really hard. School, work, relationships. Then you need support. But when understood correctly, this speed, this energy, this way of thinking can turn into a serious power.
It never went away.
But I learned to manage.
Today I still think fast. I still get bored quickly. That hasn't changed. But I don't force myself anymore, I manage.
My mind used to drag me
Now I'm guiding him
I also realized this
I can't stay idle
I have to constantly produce something, deal with something. This used to tire me. Now I know that this is my nature. When I put it in the right place, it is not a burden. On the contrary, it pushes me.
Over time you learn when to break up, when to take a break. You learn to work with yourself instead of being angry with yourself.
Because it's not about trying harder; it's about trying in the right way
What helps these children the most is not more stimulation. It's better order. Short tasks, clear boundaries, space to move and be understood.
I wish someone had shown me how to recover instead of telling me to recover more.
I wish someone had tried to understand how I think instead of trying to correct me.
We expect the same from all of them. To sit the same way, to learn the same way. But not everyone is the same. The more we force them into the same mold, the harder we make it.
If a child is constantly warned but never taught how to recover
there the problem is not with the child, but with the approach.
So it's not just about diagnosis; it's about understanding
I've found my way.
But not everyone can find it.
Because a child's life is often not about how smart they are.
is shaped by how well it is understood
And sometimes the biggest change
stop trying to change the child
when we really start to see him.
These kids are not a problem
Right minds in the wrong place.