When we look at men in the modern world, it’s not hard to see that this isn’t just a simple change, but a clear trend. The idea that men should be “well-groomed” was initially presented as an innocent suggestion. But at this point, it’s no longer a choice; it has become a silent obligation.
No one tells you what to do anymore.
There's no need for that.
Because you’re presented with a world in which you think you’ve already chosen for yourself who you’re supposed to be.
Getting your eyebrows shaped, removing body hair, constantly trying to make your body “better”… None of these things is a problem on its own. The problem is when they stop being personal choices and become standards that must be met.
The fashion industry, advertising, and social media no longer just sell products. They sell a certain kind of masculinity. They define how a man should look, how he should be desired, and, most importantly, how he should be “accepted.”.
And here's the most striking thing:
Those who fit these patterns best are the ones who feel the most unique.
This is not a contradiction.
This is where the system works flawlessly.
Because the print is no longer visible.
Oppression is made to feel like freedom.
Today, when many men look in the mirror, they’re not evaluating themselves, but rather the version of themselves they’re supposed to be. Without realizing it, they cease to be the protagonists of their own lives and become mere spectators of themselves.
This isn't just an aesthetic issue.
This is a shift in identity.
While masculinity is something built on history, character, poise, and cultural memory, it is increasingly being reduced to something defined by appearance, performance, and approval.
And this reduction weakens not only the individual but also society. Because when identity is stripped away, it is always replaced by external templates.
This is exactly what is happening today.
People are told to “be yourself.”.
But the boundaries of “himself” have long since been drawn.
So the real question is:
Are we really becoming ourselves—
Or are we simply carrying an identity that has been imposed on us?
The biggest mistake made in discussions about modern masculinity is that the issue is still viewed as a matter of “choice.”.
Yet what is happening today is not a matter of choice, but of manipulation.
The modern system does not directly tell the individual what to do. It uses a much more effective method: it determines what the individual should want.
That is why people think they are free.
But the feeling of freedom is often a simulation that has taken the place of true freedom.
Today, consumer culture does more than just meet needs; it creates identity. Whatever a person buys, they gradually become that thing. But what is being purchased here is not a product, but a meaning. It is an image. It is a “piece of identity.”.
Masculinity, too, is now at the very center of this system.
Being a man is increasingly shifting from a lived reality to a project that is put on display—a project that must be constantly updated, constantly improved, and is never truly complete.
Because if it's completed, the system will stop.
That is why a sense of inadequacy is created.
In a systematic, consistent, and deliberate manner.
No man should ever feel “good enough.”.
Because people who feel they have enough don’t consume.
What is taking place here is not merely an aesthetic transformation. It is, in fact, a direct form of identity engineering.
Identity is no longer a sense of wholeness built from within; it is becoming a structure pieced together from elements acquired from the outside.
Let's say it more clearly:
Today, masculinity is, to a large extent, not something that is experienced, but something that is marketed.
It has been reduced to an image.
It has been turned into a performance.
And there is an audience for this performance.
The modern man no longer simply lives; he constantly observes himself. He evaluates himself, corrects himself, and presents himself anew. Over time, this becomes second nature, and he loses his natural self.
This is not a contradiction.
This is the sustainability of the system.
Because as long as a person does not feel competent, they remain open to being influenced.
And a person who can be guided is a person who can be managed.
At this point, the following question becomes inevitable:
If it is possible to buy an ID,
How can you be sure that ID really belongs to you?
There's no need to complicate the discussion at this point.
Because the issue is actually quite simple:
Does a person live as themselves—
Or is he carrying an identity that was given to him?
What is offered to men today is a playground that appears to be freedom but has predefined boundaries. Everyone tries to be different, but most operate within the same framework.
That's why the problem isn't the appearance.
The problem is a loss of direction.
When a person doesn’t know what to live by, they cling to their appearance. And over time, appearance takes the place of identity.
In fact, identity is not something that can be constructed from the outside.
Identity is shaped by the honesty a person maintains with themselves, the consistency they uphold with their own values, and the meaning they give to their own life.
But this kind of identity is not conducive to a consumer-driven society.
Because a person who is at peace with themselves doesn't constantly feel like something is missing.
A person who doesn't feel a sense of lack doesn't consume constantly.
That is why the system constantly turns a person’s outward appearance into a problem, rather than strengthening their inner world.
This is not a coincidence.
This is a strategy.
And the most subtle consequence of this strategy is this:
A person stops living for themselves; they begin to give of themselves.
It's no longer about who you are, but how you look.
It's not how you live, but how you're perceived.
This, in turn, gradually distances a person from themselves.
Perhaps this is precisely the greatest crisis of our time:
People are more visible than ever,
But they are further from themselves than they have ever been.
The way out of this isn't complicated, but it is unsettling:
A person must define themselves from within, not from without.
This isn't about going against the trend.
But it is about not letting fashion take the place of identity.
This does not mean rejecting appearances.
But it is an objection to the idea that appearance is a measure of value.
Because, in the end, there is one unchanging truth:
Fashion changes. Trends come and go.
But as long as a person does not confront themselves, no matter what identity they adopt, they cannot truly embody it.
And now, the inevitable question:
Are you really yourself—
Or is it a version that was presented to you?