{"id":286628,"date":"2026-06-12T17:52:37","date_gmt":"2026-06-12T17:52:37","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/halkweb.com.tr\/?p=286628"},"modified":"2026-06-12T17:54:22","modified_gmt":"2026-06-12T17:54:22","slug":"there-are-never-any-zubuks","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/halkweb.com.tr\/en\/there-are-never-any-zubuks\/","title":{"rendered":"JERKS NEVER DIE"},"content":{"rendered":"

Lips That Don\u2019t Know the March, Fists Ready to Strike<\/span><\/b><\/p>\n

The characters we once laughed at in the movies have now become the leading figures in politics. The characters change, the settings are updated, and technology leaps forward; but the script remains the same. Because in this country, some names come and go\u2026 but the scoundrels never die.<\/span><\/i><\/b>.<\/span><\/b><\/p>\n

We are such an unlucky, such a hapless generation that we\u2019ve had to experience even the most famous characters from literature and cinema firsthand. Back in the day, there was a character named Z\u00fcb\u00fck; Aziz Nesin wrote the story, and Kemal Sunal played the role. We\u2019d sit in the movie theater, munching on sunflower seeds, and laugh it off, saying, \u201cWow, what a bunch of con artists.\u201d The movie would end, the lights would come on, and everyone would go home.<\/span><\/p>\n

It turns out we never actually left the movie theater.<\/span><\/p>\n

What we were watching wasn\u2019t a movie\u2014it was a preview of our future.<\/span><\/p>\n

Z\u00fcb\u00fck\u2019s old, analog world gradually changed over time. Then Kubi\u015f came along. Things were still slow in his day. There was television; social media hadn\u2019t taken over yet. Gossip, lies, and incompetence circulated in coffeehouses or dimly lit backstage areas, and it took time for the truth to come out.<\/span><\/p>\n

But the real jackpot was Cemal, who was miles ahead of Kubi\u0161, and he really hit us hard.<\/span><\/p>\n

Today, everyone has high-resolution phones, live streams on every street corner, and sponsored posts on every platform. In the past, a scoundrel\u2019s lies would fizzle out at the town limits; today, that same mindset, fueled by algorithms, lands straight in people\u2019s pockets.<\/span><\/p>\n

Man, you're so lucky, Cemal!<\/span><\/p>\n

In the past, people used to wait days to hear a politician\u2019s gaffe; today, millions of people watch it live at the same time.<\/span><\/p>\n

But, man\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n

What sin did we commit to end up in the same era, the same generation as you?<\/span><\/p>\n

Besides, it\u2019s not just about technology.<\/span><\/p>\n

Politics has become so hollow that the claim to govern the country has been replaced by neighborhood slang, memorized slogans, and body language.<\/span><\/p>\n

I saw it on TV the other day. The young people were singing the G\u00fcndo\u011fdu March with great enthusiasm. Our friend Cemal was among them.<\/span><\/p>\n

I watch; the lips don\u2019t know the words. The rhythm is off. They\u2019re mumbling something they\u2019ve made up.<\/span><\/p>\n

Just then, the most stirring part of the march begins:<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOur homeland is overrun by fascists\u2014strike them down, brothers, strike them down\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

And just then, the cameras turn to our friend Cemal.<\/span><\/p>\n

Is he trying to keep up with the march, struggling to catch the beat, or is it just his years of boxing reflexes kicking in? It\u2019s hard to tell.<\/span><\/p>\n

While watching the video, the following question inevitably comes to mind:<\/span><\/p>\n

Hey, did you come here to talk to the kids about the future, or is the bell about to ring and the first round is about to start?<\/span><\/p>\n

Maybe that's just how it seems to us.<\/span><\/p>\n

Still, let\u2019s face it: when lips that don\u2019t know the words of the anthem are paired with body language that makes you feel like you\u2019re about to step into the ring, the result looks more like a gym promotion than a political rally.<\/span><\/p>\n

I guess that pretty much sums up the country:<\/span><\/p>\n

The words go one way, the image another.<\/span><\/p>\n

Sometimes I think\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n

What if Z\u00fcb\u00fck, Kubi\u015f, and Cemal had lived at the same time?<\/span><\/p>\n

That\u2019s when we\u2019d really be in trouble.<\/span><\/p>\n

On election day, when you went to the polls and opened the ballot envelope, your hand would tremble:<\/span><\/p>\n

One vote for Cemal, one vote for Kubi\u0161?<\/span><\/p>\n

Or should we split the vote\u2014one for Z\u00fcb\u00fck, one for Cemal?<\/span><\/p>\n

Even a stamp would be too ashamed to find a place to press down.<\/span><\/p>\n

I managed to fit all three of them into a single article.<\/span><\/p>\n

But fitting all of this onto a single stage is no longer within the capabilities of either Y\u0131lmaz Erdo\u011fan or BKM Mutfak.<\/span><\/p>\n

I don\u2019t know how the Mandra Philosopher would explain this situation.<\/span><\/p>\n

The only thing I know is this:<\/span><\/p>\n

In this play, where the characters change and the sets are updated, the plot remains the same.<\/span><\/p>\n

Because real life has surpassed the imagination of all screenwriters.<\/span><\/p>\n

In the past, humor imitated life.<\/span><\/p>\n

Now life has left humor out in the cold.<\/span><\/p>\n

As for us, we wake up every morning to a new episode of this massive reality show, coffee in hand, staring at the screen:<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI wonder which round is starting today?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

And unfortunately, we no longer care about the answer.<\/span><\/p>\n

Because we know that what\u2019s absurd about this country isn\u2019t what\u2019s happening; it\u2019s that we\u2019re still capable of being surprised by it.<\/span><\/p>\n

The type of person U\u011fur Mumcu described years ago is still among us:<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThose who side with the powerful rather than the righteous are cowards and turncoats. They shift their allegiance as the center of power shifts; they are like weather vanes.\u201d<\/span><\/b><\/p>\n

Maybe that\u2019s why names change, faces change, and slogans change in this country\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n

The characters change; the role remains the same.<\/span><\/b><\/p>\n

<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Mar\u015f Bilmeyen Dudaklar, Gard Alan Yumruklar Bir zamanlar sinemada g\u00fcl\u00fcp ge\u00e7ti\u011fimiz tiplemeler, bug\u00fcn siyasetin ba\u015frol oyuncular\u0131na d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc. Karakterler de\u011fi\u015fiyor, dekorlar yenileniyor, teknoloji \u00e7a\u011f atl\u0131yor; ama senaryo hep ayn\u0131 kal\u0131yor. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc bu \u00fclkede baz\u0131 isimler gider, yenileri gelir… Z\u00fcb\u00fckler ise hi\u00e7 \u00f6lmez. Biz \u00f6yle bahts\u0131z, \u00f6yle k\u0131smetsiz bir ku\u015fa\u011f\u0131z ki; edebiyat\u0131n ve sineman\u0131n en me\u015fhur tiplemelerini […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":17,"featured_media":286629,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[286,2,285],"tags":[363,364,362],"class_list":["post-286628","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-yazarlar","category-gundem","category-politika","tag-sinema","tag-siyaset","tag-zubuk"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/halkweb.com.tr\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/286628","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/halkweb.com.tr\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/halkweb.com.tr\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/halkweb.com.tr\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/17"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/halkweb.com.tr\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=286628"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/halkweb.com.tr\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/286628\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":286631,"href":"https:\/\/halkweb.com.tr\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/286628\/revisions\/286631"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/halkweb.com.tr\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/286629"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/halkweb.com.tr\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=286628"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/halkweb.com.tr\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=286628"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/halkweb.com.tr\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=286628"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}